how do we let go of a dead thing

my favorite part of drinking coffee every

morning is a swig of strawberry-stamped nerve

it’s a ritual to feel a dream where i am soft and i am snow

i forgot to water a plant and i killed it

i overwatered a plant and it died

what i’ve learned is that love is an act of violence

she hides in questions like how was your day and do you miss me too

 

how do we forgive ourselves for the things we did not become?

 

for a while, i thought i’d read a chapter before curb-checking

for a while, i conflated nights alone with lonely nights

 

here’s where i blur into you –

someone always has to leave first

what if we lost ourselves so that we could find each other?

what if we never become?

 

i’ve curated my life therefore it is mine and

i will do with it what i want

shred my coordinates with a serrated spoon

stargaze under a guillotine

panic in rooms lined with fruit-skinned walls

 

the worst part about peeling a grape is the crack in your windshield

i am avoiding you

to avoid me

cooking pasta for two somewhere in a balmy kitchen

over a sun-kissed stove

 

there is nothing so humiliating as imagining yourself alive

able to let go of dead things

 

how do i convince you we are easy to swallow

how do we let go of a dead thing?